Its slowly getting okay!

Now i know.I see life as a path filled with dangerous rocks. All you need to do is to avoid the rocks and continue walking. That's the way to live a problem free life.But life without problems? Sounds impossible to me. Everyone will get their hard times. I feel like a load has been lifted off me. After I apologize. I now know. In my life. I have two types of friends. Those with brains,and those without. Thank god i'm surrounded by those with brains. Sometimes,there are those without brains around me. But that completes the many different people in life.

I have alot of brainless people. They don't know whats the meaning of feelings.They play it like toys. Until one time where I got so worried that I might almost lose a friend i've known for long. But when I tried to apologize to her,It seems. She has brains. A whole lot of it. More like she's matured enough to ignore the immaturity of others on what they do. It really amazes me. She brushes them off like specks of dusts and goes on with her life.

Yes,the brainless people are the immature people that I once looked up to. I respected them alot. I rally see them as a figure to follow. But,after knowing them for awhile,I realise I made some wrong decisions. Their just stupid assholes who have not matured even though their well past their secondary school days. 18,19,20 years old? whatever their age or older. They seem like they've got no brains or feelings at all. Screw them. Im just posting this because the friend I apologized to accepted it and hought nothing more of it. She really seemed like she was unaffected by it. Nice~

So that's it. And for those people that I put my trust into during that harsh few days. I really hope you wont break that trust.

Moving from that. I got into the CCA that I wanted to. And whats that? DragonBoating! Yay! :D Training starts this monday. I can't wait for it. So life's turning for the better. I'm getting used to poly. My phone's getting fixed. My friend din care bout the stuff about her.(That gets the smiley too :D ) I keep getting As( only 1B:( ) for my first week in poly. Hope that continues. So thats it. See ya! Will post next time too!

Hiding it.

Yes. As the title suggests,I'm hiding my feelings. I tried to call her like 10 mins ago. She's already asleep. Damn. I went to school and acted everything as per normal. This is because Rp is a bully, everything is based on your daily performance. Wanna show that pissed off face oso cant. Gotta put some fake smile. Make the class a happy place, then I forget yesterday. But whats the use. When I go home. The guilt is back again. Fuck it.

I cant wait for tomorrow. So it seems. Im going to fix my phone at the SE workshop at eastpoint,I'm gonna try calling her again. I cant freaking wait for the IG fair. Yay that. Another thing is oso that my maths faci got changed. Im not quite happy with that. I think my previous faci is nice. Now the current one is just this old man who does'nt surf the net or even own a handphone. Pathetic crapshit. I can see he's gonna mark down people. I think i might get a C for maths today. Fuck that. I really hope I don get that.

Sad for W34M,alot of people hated the previous faci. Now that he's gone,their all missing him. Yes,and all this is because we got a special student in our batch. She's hearing impaired and mute. But that does'nt mean that I'm not pissed she stole my faci. Another thing else,I know her. She was my groupmate from my SEG camp. Hmm,The sad life I think Im living this week. I know whatever it is,I gotta have myself ready. I sense,no. I know that this weekend is gonna be a rough one.

Screwed.

The past week is screwed. Many things happened. And its all bad. I think I'm at the verge of losing a friend. I really hope it won't go to that. Slackplace is killing me. Not the place but the people. Some of them at least. My phone is spoilt.

I'm faced with this problem. I always act without thinking. My actions act for the present. Never for the future. What I act will only settle whats going to happen in the next 5 minutes. That's wrong. That's really wrong. Today I got an sms from a friend. I kinda shouted at her in an effort to shut her up cos I was frustrated trying to explain something. I din realise it hurt her feelings. Luckily she smsed. Only way for me to realise.

Another thing is that its now known. I hate you. I fucking hate you motherfucking bastard asshole. This person is a "he" from escape theme park. He's a real bastard. Screw him. Hope he chokes to death on a grain of rice while eating with his family. Fucker's always finding trouble with me. I never wanna show that I hate him. I know that problems escalate. So I always act neutral. And just wanna say that it is no one that I lepaked with just now. Yes. It was also because of that fucker some bad things slipped ot of my mouth a long long time ago about another friend. I only meant it as a joke. Now its a big problem. That real fucker. How I really hate you bitch. You're a fucker. You know whats a fucker? That's you.

I just wanna type out my anger here. So I would really appreciate no one asking me bout this post okay? NO ONE. This post will serve as a reminder to me so that whenever I try to do something without thinking. Maybe this post can help a little in reminding me whats wrong from right. And how does problems get settled? Even though it does not affect me,It affects someone because of me. I don't know what the fuck i'm talking about. Thinking too much ready. Fuck it. Hope that I wont lose that friend. Will time heal all wounds? Will my friend dwell on my words and never forgive me? Can the damage be undone? Is apologising enough?

I may never know.

Another day at school.

Today's school went as per normal. Nothing wrong,except,towards the end of the day. LoserFuck MSNed me and ask why I sabo his team during presentation. Sabo? All I did was to ask questions,and that was encouraged by the faci. He say I like not happy with him. So I defended myself,act as per normal and went on with the day.

The day ended as per normal again,I did my RJ in class then left. Hydra was going to play street soccer.Damn! I wanted to play too. Up said cos I wanted to go home with a girl. Lol,I didn't say anything,He only assumed it. So yup,all normal again until I saw LoserFuck sitting alone at a corner using his laptop. I went beside him and just sat,only to say hello. Motherfucker stared at me and asked if I "buay song with him?" Cheebye. Who the fuck he think he is? Gimme his fuck face and act fierce? Holy shit. That's really funny,I merely smiled at him and gave him a look that I can't be bothered. He stared at me again. Boy,why the hell would I be bothered? If you guys had read my previous post,you would have realised that he was an ugly,geeky,stupid,acting motherfucker. All he could do was to act big. I can't be bothered. You wanna act big. Not in my face. We're all freshies. We're still new. Don't come and smother your pathetic butt at others and think you're RP's kingpin. I left him. Coincidentally,Up & Co was sitting opposite him,so I went to them. Talked to them about the street soccer. I knew he was looking at me. But did I care? NO. After talking for a little while,I left to meet my friends.

Met my friends and talked to them for awhile,I wanted to play soccer,they wanted to go home. I can't ditch them cos I felt bad. But I did tell them about LoserFuck. They wanted to see his face. So I brought them to him. Well,I made them sit near Up's area so that he did'nt feel intimidated by me bringing friends. My friends were watching all the way. They say his face look like the "someone needs to punch him right in the nose now" face. I went to him and the conversation went something like this.





Zaf(Z):Hi,you say I not happy with you is it? Why ar?


LoserFuck(Lf):(Staring at me)Ya. why you go action around the class just now?


Z:I action around the class? I only asked you questions. Who ask you open your mouth? Donno the answer just shut up la?


Lf:Then why you face the webcam at me?You think you joker is it?


Z:Yes I'm a joker. Why? I enjoy facing the webcam at others. And for your info,it wasn't you that I was facing it. It was your teammate. You think so much for what?


Lf:I don't like what?


Z:So you say I not happy with you just because of that? Please okay. You don't think you very big okay. I'm not too. When people not happy right,they settle it in fights. You want? Your hands and my hands? Outside?


Lf:You wanna fight? Laptop how?


Z:What the? Put it aside. I will too. So lets fight. Don't think I'm afraid of a little actor like you okay? Sitting here all alone by yourself with no friends at all thinking you're so cool and all like a loner.


Lf:I'm a loner what? So what?


Z:Fuck it. Faster we go out and fight. You say you want right?


Lf:You sure I say I wanna fight with you?


Z:Yes,didn't you just say I wasn't happy with you,and you the same? So lets fight it outside.Now.


Lf:I dowan fight you.


Z:Just as I thought. You would'nt dare. Anytime you wanna fight me I'm here okay? Just remember that I did not come and act about and wanna start this okay?


Lf:You sure you did'nt start this?


Z:Yes of course. Webcam oso wanna be a sissy? See ya.Also remember that I have not raised my voice all the way okay? You did.(I walked away.)





Yes,he stared at me throughout,until I came out with the idea of the fight. He looked at his laptop. Haha. Wanna fight still come out with the idea of the laptop. Very funny.Gosh. This guy's a real idiot la. I didn't wanna fight with him at all in the first place. I actually made a vow not to fight or quarrel with anyone when I entered poly. I wanted to turn over a new leaf. But how to? When someone so pathetic comes your way? Just ignore? I can't. His attitude is atrocious.

Yes I left that area and my friends to follow Up & Co to the street soccer court. After kicking the ball for awhile. I went back to meet my frinds as I felt bad for making them wait. When I went back,LoserFuck was still there. Only his laptop. And we wanted to leave,I actually wamted to say bye to him as a sign of being friendly. But he was'nt there. So I told his friend to convey the message to him. I donno how he'll react to it. Yup fuck it. So I went home.

At home,I was greeted with bad news.It came in a form of a letter. I wont speak of it here. Okay then,Im done posting for today. Mostly about LoserFuck. If anything else happens,I'll tell it here. See ya!

Poly? Lovin' it!

Its only poly life day 2. So it seems like I've been to poly a really really long time. Like I so used to everything. Until I resort to cheating. Copy Paste my way into my daily grades. Yes,this will not be a very long post because today,life went as per normal. Nothing special,except that I got a change of teams today. And LoserFuck wasn't in it:)

But,I'm still stuck with him every monday at the very least. I know i'm a little harsh with my words on someone I've only known for 2 days. But,maybe if he changes his attitude,I might change my opinions on him.

Next step.

Today was my first day of poly. Stepping in a very new environment. So it seems. The faci(facilitator) was a kind dude. And one of the questions thrown at him. "Are you straight?" Ouch! That's gotta hurt. So the day went alright,just not same as a normal school. Faci give questions. Leave the class. Nnbccb. And since we're like first timers. We were lost. "Do what?" "Huh?" "Wtf!?" was heard all around the class. We finally realised that there was a worksheet to do. We did it,and it sucked. Though its not super difficult maths,more basic,its just confusing.

Did our stuff,had a loser for a teammate. All he knows is how to say fuck you. Got me pissed after awhile,it stopped being funny. Then still think he so funny,want ask another teammate MSN also wanna be a shy fuck. Please. You're a geek,you're stupid,you're ugly. Don't think you hot stuff can? Bloody fuck. Stuck with a loser for 4 weeks.

Skipping on that ass,my personal opinions is that Singapore is too multi-racial,haha,not trying to say that in a bad way. Its good,but the language's all mixed up. Faci asked some questions,little complicated. Once I asked,

"Could you please elaborate on that question?"

All looked at me as if I raped someone. As if I said something that wasn't supposed to be said. So I taught myself to just say, "Say more?" So the faci asked me the question and I didn't understand,so I said

Zaf: "Say more?"

Faci: "Same ah? Hmm, no,you're wrong."

Wow,I said "Say more" and the dude heard it as "Same orh~" What the hell?!? Singlish at its best. What the hell. I speak singlish but I don't say "orh~" Haha. What to do. Because of that,Faci went like,Its okay if you're wrong,I wont penalise you.

Wow,So i guess that's it for my first day in school. Will post more soon. :)

Happy Birthday Mum!

So yesterday was my mother's birthday. 17th April 2009. But I'm posting it on the 18th,why? Cos yesterday celebrate till go sleep. No time for com,And it also was the 3rd day of Rp's orientation. So which to choose? Which to go? Lol. Screw it. Even before we started the birthday celebrations,I ran out of the school. I can't take the fucking boring orientation any longer. Haha. And so it meant I could loiter and slack my life out. Walked about,went to Tampines1,saw Gary&Co. Went TM slacked there. Then went home.

So I heard,The first 3 to start Slack this weekend. Can't name them. Congratulations to them. Yup. Have fun slacking. And for my mum's birthday,even though it was her birthday,The sabo went to me. Why? Because my birthday just passed recently and I escaped the sabo. Yup. She also got two cakes for her birthday.

Haha, Okay then. Not a long post. See ya!

Lazy me.

Today was supposed to be the second day of my poly orientation. I skipped it. I went for the first day and it was games games and more games. I have already made a group of friends,and today,If i were to go,it'll still be the same group. So no such excuse to make me go so I can make friends. I wont learn anything also today because today's plans are more games. That's bullshit. I don't learn any poly stuff from there. I'm going tomorrow. Because that's the day where the make us feel how schooling is like,How we learn and stuff.

So I woke up at around 4pm today,I was supposed to meet up with a friend but din realise that I din send her the sms that i sent to all those that was waiting for me or wanted to go with me. So yup. Woke up and got a few smses. Haha. 9 to be exact. Yup. and now that I'm wide awake,I'm watching stuff online. Gran Torino. Yup. Also,sad to hear that Porto lost the second leg. Manure,oops Man U made History,First British team to beat Porto at the Estadio De Dragao,Porto's home soil. That's really sad. I really wanted Manure to lose.Instead, Manure scraped through with a single goal. What a lousy pathetic unconvincing win. While Arsenal walked over their opponents with a 3-0 win. Yay Arsenal! Gunners for life!

And that leaves me with nothing else to blog. So i'm bored. play with my profile and all,add a wishlist. Blablabla. Till tomorrow then. See ya!